the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
