i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
