Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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