Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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