just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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