I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
