Midget sex pt 2 tonight
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
