it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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