I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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