I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize