Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
