Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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