Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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