There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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