he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
