last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
