Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
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at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
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St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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