Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
be right there i have to get my cape
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
