I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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