The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
