I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Couch. On fire.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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