she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
