Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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