I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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