She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
