Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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