If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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