I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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