can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
