I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
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when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
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Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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