Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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