no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
