best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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