great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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