I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
