Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
