I heard we made out
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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