Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
