i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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