4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
