Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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