I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
