HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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