She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
These tits shall not be calmed
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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