Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
