We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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