im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Still dying that you shit outside
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
