So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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