Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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