you guys were way drunker than both of me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
