okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
