Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
