I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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