Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize