some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
